I had the greatest summer planned, ever. I was going to go to Cameroon, train and share the Gospel with the Africans there, then come back to lead high school runners in their training at the Baylor Cross Country Camp, then head to Mammoth Lakes California- for two weeks of training bliss.
I thought everything was going to be perfect, but there was one problem, the stress fracture in my right foot hadn't gone away.
That wasn't a part of my grand plan, I had figured that the fracture would go away & I would be running by early June. But August is coming up, and I still haven't gotten cleared to run yet. I have been down on my knees asking God & praying for 3 months for healing. But it hasn't happened. It's frustrating. I've been restless for the last 4 weeks, ready to be back.
A good friend put it in this way: I would never say it, but the fracture has definitely been a disappointment in what was going to be one of the greatest running filled summers ever.
Where is God in the middle of all of this?
I like to put myself in the shoes of other men sometimes. Recently, I have been trying to put myself in the shoes of King David, through his frustrations. David had to live in the shadows of his brothers for many years, then was constantly on the run from a ruthless King Saul, even living in caves.
This is why I love the Psalms. They are real- they are deep cuts from David's heart documenting his joys and frustrations with life. In Psalm 13, David asks the Lord if he has forgotten him forever, how long will God forget him.
I think that Psalm 13 shows us that it is ok to be frustrated with God, even Jesus was frustrated and stressed even to the point of sweating blood (Luke 22.) It's good to know that there were men who went before me who also had frustrations with God, for this is where I am at.
I know that the Lord has got a plan for me through this race of life, but sometimes I don't know where this path is going.
A friend texted me this verse the other day that really encouraged me,
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." -Proverbs 16:9
Yes, life can be frustrating, and its ok to have questions and ask God where He is, but the truth lies in that sometimes we can't understand the situation, but God can.
So regardless of my frustration, I am going to live freely, because I live in the truth of knowing a God who goes before me, and loves me, no matter what shape I am in. God doesn't love me less or more with this fracture, because He loves me unconditionally, all the time!
Today, I am thankful that the God I serve is the God who will fight and run (maybe even walk) with me, every step of the way, even through my frustration!