The Season of Singleness

Dear friends,

You see, all my life I considered myself a hopeless romantic. Key word, hopeless. I would sit in my room, my comfortable little introverted world, and search for meaning, usually through the 500 Days of Summer score and a journal. Insert sap alert here. Sorry aboutcha.

Fast forward to the present: It's my senior year at Baylor, no girlfriend, no ring... what am I doing? Do you ever long for your piece of the puzzle? I used to ask God where my piece was, but it never seemed to be me. I asked some of my roommates about the season of singleness. Their answers were really interesting. Here is what they said:

"You just want to be with someone. You want so badly to experience that intimacy, like not even the sexual, but simply the emotional. Intimacy with a human is 400 times more powerful that anything else. As humans… we want that." -Mike Stanley

 So what do we do about this trial? What does it mean to run the straight race for Christ, and thrive in the seasons of singleness?

"And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status defines your life." -1st Corinthians 7:17 MSG

I saw a tweet last week that Matt Lantz, one of the leaders of a Pine Cove ministry, The Forge, posted. Matt answered the question… How far is too far? The question had me curious so immediately I clicked on the passage (1st Corinthians 7). The chapter hits on one of the questions I have struggled with the most… singleness. 

Paul mentions the "longing" that so many of us as singles go through. He immediately, at the beginning of the verse, tells us to stop. The part that hits hard for me is, "Where you are right now, is God's place for you. 

I get so caught up in trying to find a girl that I forget that God has placed us right where we need to be. Singleness is right where I need to be. Holy crap. Singleness is where I need to be. I had to repeat that phrase over and over again because I so often don't want to believe that. I want to overstep God's plan for me and force myself into a relationship, or try to defy God through that. God ultimately knows marriage is a Godly thing, He even tells us all over the Bible (Genesis 2:22-24, Hebrews 13:4, Matthew 19:3-9)

"God, not your marital status defines your life." Especially in college, relationships can be a defining thing. Have you ever gone home from Christmas and had conversations with your relatives that go like this… 

"Hey so good to see you! Where's the girl? Where's the boy? When are you going to settle down?"

I don't hate many things, but these conversations I can't stand. There is so much more to life than being in a relationship, as singles, we get to experience many things relationship people can't. I made a quick list: (there are a ton more)

1) Grow as an individual in Christ first

2) Get our finances straight 

3) Go on spontaneous trips

4) Disciple and spend more time with guys/girls

5) Be more involved with the community

6) Get to meet more people 

"Don't be obsessed with getting more things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you," we can boldly quote, God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?" Hebrews 13:5 MSG

As we struggle with seasons of singleness, we need to realize that incredible opportunities we have and use the season of singleness not as a time to long for a significant other, but grow, learn, invest, and THRIVE during this incredible time. I am thankful that the Lord gives me a time of singleness and I hope you are you. During this time  I am praying that you and I both would:

1) Be content with the season of singleness

2) Surround yourself with community of girls/guys that love Jesus

3) Use the time to grow in your relationship with Christ

4) Use the time to invest more into younger guys/girls

5) Recognize there is a God who loves and cares for us… and will never let us down or leave us

Let me send you some non-biblical resources that have tremendously helped my friends and I:

1. Ben Stuart (Breakaway Ministries) gave a powerful series on Godly relationships from Songs of Solomon that changed my life
2. Matt Lantz (Pine Cove Forge) wrote an e-book on Godly dating,  
3. The Porch at Watermark Community Church writes a blog and has some great stuff to check out  (Young Adult Group)

Love you guys and I am thankful that you are a part of my life, 

Matt