The Season of Singleness

Dear friends,

You see, all my life I considered myself a hopeless romantic. Key word, hopeless. I would sit in my room, my comfortable little introverted world, and search for meaning, usually through the 500 Days of Summer score and a journal. Insert sap alert here. Sorry aboutcha.

Fast forward to the present: It's my senior year at Baylor, no girlfriend, no ring... what am I doing? Do you ever long for your piece of the puzzle? I used to ask God where my piece was, but it never seemed to be me. I asked some of my roommates about the season of singleness. Their answers were really interesting. Here is what they said:

"You just want to be with someone. You want so badly to experience that intimacy, like not even the sexual, but simply the emotional. Intimacy with a human is 400 times more powerful that anything else. As humans… we want that." -Mike Stanley

 So what do we do about this trial? What does it mean to run the straight race for Christ, and thrive in the seasons of singleness?

"And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status defines your life." -1st Corinthians 7:17 MSG

I saw a tweet last week that Matt Lantz, one of the leaders of a Pine Cove ministry, The Forge, posted. Matt answered the question… How far is too far? The question had me curious so immediately I clicked on the passage (1st Corinthians 7). The chapter hits on one of the questions I have struggled with the most… singleness. 

Paul mentions the "longing" that so many of us as singles go through. He immediately, at the beginning of the verse, tells us to stop. The part that hits hard for me is, "Where you are right now, is God's place for you. 

I get so caught up in trying to find a girl that I forget that God has placed us right where we need to be. Singleness is right where I need to be. Holy crap. Singleness is where I need to be. I had to repeat that phrase over and over again because I so often don't want to believe that. I want to overstep God's plan for me and force myself into a relationship, or try to defy God through that. God ultimately knows marriage is a Godly thing, He even tells us all over the Bible (Genesis 2:22-24, Hebrews 13:4, Matthew 19:3-9)

"God, not your marital status defines your life." Especially in college, relationships can be a defining thing. Have you ever gone home from Christmas and had conversations with your relatives that go like this… 

"Hey so good to see you! Where's the girl? Where's the boy? When are you going to settle down?"

I don't hate many things, but these conversations I can't stand. There is so much more to life than being in a relationship, as singles, we get to experience many things relationship people can't. I made a quick list: (there are a ton more)

1) Grow as an individual in Christ first

2) Get our finances straight 

3) Go on spontaneous trips

4) Disciple and spend more time with guys/girls

5) Be more involved with the community

6) Get to meet more people 

"Don't be obsessed with getting more things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you," we can boldly quote, God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?" Hebrews 13:5 MSG

As we struggle with seasons of singleness, we need to realize that incredible opportunities we have and use the season of singleness not as a time to long for a significant other, but grow, learn, invest, and THRIVE during this incredible time. I am thankful that the Lord gives me a time of singleness and I hope you are you. During this time  I am praying that you and I both would:

1) Be content with the season of singleness

2) Surround yourself with community of girls/guys that love Jesus

3) Use the time to grow in your relationship with Christ

4) Use the time to invest more into younger guys/girls

5) Recognize there is a God who loves and cares for us… and will never let us down or leave us

Let me send you some non-biblical resources that have tremendously helped my friends and I:

1. Ben Stuart (Breakaway Ministries) gave a powerful series on Godly relationships from Songs of Solomon that changed my life
2. Matt Lantz (Pine Cove Forge) wrote an e-book on Godly dating,  
3. The Porch at Watermark Community Church writes a blog and has some great stuff to check out  (Young Adult Group)

Love you guys and I am thankful that you are a part of my life, 

Matt

My Feet May Fail

"You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail. And there I find you in the mystery, in oceans deep, my faith will stand"

If you follow running news, a Kenyan named Daniel Kimetto made history by by setting the Marathon world record (2:02:57), which is blistering. To put Daniel's race into perspective, he ran my 5k PR more than 8 times consecutively. That’s crazy! 

But what really struck me about Daniel Kimetto ‘s feat was that just a few months before that, he walked the last few kilometers of the Boston Marathon. Here is a picture of Kimetto walking off the road of that race. 

Photo Credit to @BoyFromiten

I think of the steps Daniel took to get to the world record. He must have been really down after Boston, felt like the world was a heavy weight; perhaps he struggled to find meaning in his life. There must have been a turn-around point in these few months where he made the decision to become a champion, to work even harder than before.

People love these comeback stories; they are fun to watch unfold. As a young kid, I used to imagine myself as a pitcher for the Texas Rangers in the 9th inning of the World Series with the bases loaded and two outs, making the final strike… hearing the crowd roar! These dreams still continue for me, however now they are around the track. I hear the bell going off in the 10,000-metre final of the Olympic Games, the crowd cheering as I round the final stretch of a race. Comebacks are beautiful. Now Kimetto may have not exactly been the underdog, but there was an incredible change and turnaround in the last 3 months of his training and life. 

Success stories in sports are great. But even better than sport rebirths are when people have comebacks in their lives. God wants to give you a comeback story, you just have to trust Him.  I could write for hours about incredible stories of life change. Recently, a close friend of mine, went through several rough patches in his life, and ended up living with our family for a year. God took what seemed like a story that was lost, a game that was over, and changed the score. He is now back at school, sharing his story and encouraging those around him. I look at my sister Molly's battle with depression, and I'm so encouraged by the way she bounced back through Christ and is now sharing Christ with others in her community. There are countless of other stories of life change, God is doing incredible works, and He wants to work in your life if you allow Him to. 

Last week I was sitting in the back of a service at Harris Creek, the church I call home in Waco, and they started singing the song "Oceans" by Hillsong. This is a song I know well, so the words came easy to me except during one particular line. I kept stumbling over the phrase, "My feet may fail." 

After the service all I could think about was that line, "My feet may fail." So many times in my life my feet have failed me, especially in running. The last month of training has been rough for me, there were days that I would wake up without any motivation to run, no desire to excel in life, my legs felt dead and I was down. I kept failing, in school, in running, in relationships, but God stayed the course with me. I questioned where God was in all of this failure and doubt in my life. Its' funny how answers come, but mine happened to be a verse that Molly texted me a couple of weeks ago that hit me hard:

"I remember it all- oh, how well I remember- The feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one thing I remember and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness. I'm sticking with God, He's all I've got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. Its a good thing when your young, to stick it out through the hard time. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence, bow in prayer. Don't ask questions. Wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble, take it full- face. The "worst" is never the worse. Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly." -Lamentations 3:20-33 MSG

 What a great promise… that God never walks out on us or leaves us. I'm thankful that even though "my feet may fail" so often, I trust in a God that doesn't fail! I trust in a God who desires to take me to much greater places than I could ever dream of, like the last lyrics of Oceans! I am praying that while we may fail, we would continue to trust in God who doesn't!

"Spirit Lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior."