My Feet May Fail

"You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail. And there I find you in the mystery, in oceans deep, my faith will stand"

If you follow running news, a Kenyan named Daniel Kimetto made history by by setting the Marathon world record (2:02:57), which is blistering. To put Daniel's race into perspective, he ran my 5k PR more than 8 times consecutively. That’s crazy! 

But what really struck me about Daniel Kimetto ‘s feat was that just a few months before that, he walked the last few kilometers of the Boston Marathon. Here is a picture of Kimetto walking off the road of that race. 

Photo Credit to @BoyFromiten

I think of the steps Daniel took to get to the world record. He must have been really down after Boston, felt like the world was a heavy weight; perhaps he struggled to find meaning in his life. There must have been a turn-around point in these few months where he made the decision to become a champion, to work even harder than before.

People love these comeback stories; they are fun to watch unfold. As a young kid, I used to imagine myself as a pitcher for the Texas Rangers in the 9th inning of the World Series with the bases loaded and two outs, making the final strike… hearing the crowd roar! These dreams still continue for me, however now they are around the track. I hear the bell going off in the 10,000-metre final of the Olympic Games, the crowd cheering as I round the final stretch of a race. Comebacks are beautiful. Now Kimetto may have not exactly been the underdog, but there was an incredible change and turnaround in the last 3 months of his training and life. 

Success stories in sports are great. But even better than sport rebirths are when people have comebacks in their lives. God wants to give you a comeback story, you just have to trust Him.  I could write for hours about incredible stories of life change. Recently, a close friend of mine, went through several rough patches in his life, and ended up living with our family for a year. God took what seemed like a story that was lost, a game that was over, and changed the score. He is now back at school, sharing his story and encouraging those around him. I look at my sister Molly's battle with depression, and I'm so encouraged by the way she bounced back through Christ and is now sharing Christ with others in her community. There are countless of other stories of life change, God is doing incredible works, and He wants to work in your life if you allow Him to. 

Last week I was sitting in the back of a service at Harris Creek, the church I call home in Waco, and they started singing the song "Oceans" by Hillsong. This is a song I know well, so the words came easy to me except during one particular line. I kept stumbling over the phrase, "My feet may fail." 

After the service all I could think about was that line, "My feet may fail." So many times in my life my feet have failed me, especially in running. The last month of training has been rough for me, there were days that I would wake up without any motivation to run, no desire to excel in life, my legs felt dead and I was down. I kept failing, in school, in running, in relationships, but God stayed the course with me. I questioned where God was in all of this failure and doubt in my life. Its' funny how answers come, but mine happened to be a verse that Molly texted me a couple of weeks ago that hit me hard:

"I remember it all- oh, how well I remember- The feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one thing I remember and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness. I'm sticking with God, He's all I've got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. Its a good thing when your young, to stick it out through the hard time. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence, bow in prayer. Don't ask questions. Wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble, take it full- face. The "worst" is never the worse. Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly." -Lamentations 3:20-33 MSG

 What a great promise… that God never walks out on us or leaves us. I'm thankful that even though "my feet may fail" so often, I trust in a God that doesn't fail! I trust in a God who desires to take me to much greater places than I could ever dream of, like the last lyrics of Oceans! I am praying that while we may fail, we would continue to trust in God who doesn't!

"Spirit Lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior." 

On Records, Dreams, and Running

Northern Idaho Sunsets are BEAUTIFUL!

From the air it all began, my exploration as a sky sailor. I am entering into the last 3 weeks of a fun journey away from home, The Shire, or Hobbiton if you will. This adventure has taken me to London, Paris, and Boise Idaho, a summer, filled with mountains to explore, rivers to jump in, and a few sales sprinkled in on the way to the end of summer.

I am praying for vigilance, excellence, and overall stamina in both running and work. I like to consider myself a well oiled machine, graceful like a deer, going through life on foot, fit and fast. Sometimes what I dream so often misrepresents what my body tells me. In reality sometimes I have been sluggish like an Ox, tired like a sloth. It is a give and take, an ebb and flow of listening to my body and responding likewise. I can't be Mo Farah and crush 100 mile weeks every week. But I will be patient, like Noah building my "ark" of base mileage, aligning my bodies desires and the desires Cap and even God himself has for me. 

The light is dim, the path crooked, but I am touching a path not many men seek. It is lonely, but there is peace and stillness in the silent. A time to reflect, to dream, to pray, to work. I seek something few men in history dare, to push my body and soul to the upper echelon of the spirit, until there is nothing left. Whether this is done on a cross-country course or 25 calculated, hard, and eventful laps… all this done in a manner of glorifying god, my target, along with the tangible ticking goal of twenty nine minutes and twenty six seconds for these grueling laps. But what does that even mean? Sure... I would be a moonwalker in Baylor distance history, but beyond that? It would mean tasting victory in God's plan, rejoicing in the accomplishments in light of something much greater. But victory isn't necessarily what I have in mind. My hero, Ryan Hall put it this way 

"I'd rather lose with God, then win without him" -Ryan Hall

Ryan is right. God has be be a part of the picture for victory to happen for me. Physical victory might not even be a part of the plan, but I can win with God if I run for Him. This record is a minute figure in Gods grand plan. So yes, I am literally chasing it with every ounce of fiber in my being and soul, but it does not lie in deep importance to me compared to that of making Jesus' name more known. If I can do that, FORGET the blasted record and I will celebrate in the fact that I can run, that perhaps The Lord will allow me to use running to bring someone to Christ, or use running for good conversations, for ministry, for doing life with the 15 brothers I call teammates. That's where I find the motivation to push when I have nothing left in the tank. That's why when I lose physically, I still win because I win with Christ, who isn't concerned with the outcome. So instead of praying for God to bless me with winged feet, I pray to do something much bigger than that: to make Christ's name more known. If running becomes anything more than that, than take it away. Strip me of this idol and lay it to waste. Cleanse me if running does not honor The Lord. But if this journey does glorify Christ, then help me take each step for You, graceful like the deer you created, let me run with beauty, never forgetting my mission and task. I want to do this for the glory of Christ so that one day I may look back and say, "that was BEAUTIFUL, thanks God. You were glorified every step of the way!"

Rollercoasters

Rollercoasters.

What are they? The fastest two minutes of fear, screaming, and laughing that you can bargain for. Rollercoasters carry you through the ups and downs, the parts that you want to ride again and again, and sometimes, the parts you would rather never experience again.

Isn't life life like a roller-coaster?

This semester, people have asked me how running and life has been, and I have simply replied, a roller coaster. I have experienced lots of joy racing for the first time in 8 months, meeting some great new friends, being with family. But there also have been plenty of unforeseen stomach dropping moments on this ride, friends passing away, bad races, and tough times.

I never quite know what else life has in store for the next bend, but I'm often left left holding tightly onto what I have and hoping it will soon pass.

But this is what I've learned- forget the ride, follow Jesus.

Following Jesus to me is not being invested in the turnout of these mountains and valley experiences, but rather putting my identity and dependence in Christ.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." -Hebrews 13:8

I think it's pretty cool that I trust in an unchanging God, while my world or circumstances around me change constantly at every moment in time. That is powerful. The very idea that we are subject to time while God isn't, forces us into continual change, second by second. We cannot hope in something that is temporal or dependent on ourselves.

My emotions and feelings are constantly riding a roller-coaster, but I'm learning how to not let the roller-coaster of life define me. When I have a bad race or even a good race, I'm not defined by that. I am defined by something much greater, a relationship with Christ! If Christ is what defines me, then I don't have to worry about my performance or the highs and lows of life.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold, the new has come." -2nd Corinthians 5:17

As I go on the rest of the semester, my prayer is that we can put our hope, trust, and faith into a relationship with Christ that doesn't change or waver. I pray that this roller coaster of life would not define us, and that we would recognize how we are loved and made new in Christ!

Babylon

This semester has been a hard semester. A semester of new and unknown things: From not being able to compete this year in cross country, to trying to navigate where my life is headed going into the last few years of college, there has definitely been some struggles.

This year the discipleship group I'm in is going through the book of Daniel. Its a story of young men from Israel who were at their prime, ready to take on the world, ready for success. But then God handed them over to the Babylonians, into exile, an unknown place. This is not where they had hoped to be…

I'm also reading a book called 7 Men And The Secret Of Their Greatness, by Eric Metexas. It goes through 7 highly influential men and what made them great. I've noticed a theme in each one of their stories: They all at one point in their lives were at places of exile, unfamiliar places they didn't want to be in. 

One of the men, George Washington, found himself with a choice to become America's first leader. It had never been done before.

Eric Liddell found himself in a predicament: He had to decide whether or not to drop out of the Olympics, a race he had been training for his whole life, because of his spiritual convictions. No one had ever dropped out of the Olympics due to faith.

William Wilberforce had a choice to stand up for his beliefs or not about slavery in England, but the decision came at a high price: if he stood up for his beliefs, he would have to sacrifice everything he knew and loved in life, and his reputation among the English elite.

This semester I feel like sometimes I am in exile, in Babylon, in an unknown place where dreams go to die, where there is no hope left.

While each of these men I have been studying have been in their Babylon, they all believed in one truth that would carry them through their struggles:
No matter the pain or strife, God's faithfulness would see them through to the end.

In Isaiah 43:1-7 God writes a love letter to us when he says,

"I am the God who made you in the first place, the one who got you started. 
Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name, you're mine.
When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. 
When your in rough waters, you will not go down. 
When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end-
Because I am God, your personal God, your Savior

It's comforting to know when life gets tough, when the waters just don't seem bearable, there is a God who cares. My time of "exile" has been difficult, but in the end I will trust a God who is sovereign.
Today, I am thankful for that truth, that the Lord will be faithful to deliver me in any situation I come across… just like He did for Daniel in Babylon!

Joy (Injury Part 3)

"God-Loyal people don't stay down long, soon they're up on their feet."  -Proverbs 24:16 (MSG)

This summer was one of the greatest roller-coasters of a lifetime. I got to go to Africa, lead a cross country camp, and go to Mammoth Lakes California, where I got to meet my hero, Ryan Hall!

I've also had a lot of ups & downs this summer. When I was in Africa, I was humbled to lead someone to Christ, which was incredible! I also had some great conversations with some high school athletes at the Baylor Cross Country Camp.

On the other hand, I didn't get to run a step this summer due to a stress fracture. I spent a lot of time alone for hours on end swimming and deep water running in the pool. While my teammates were out running, I was confined to the air bubble also known as the Alter G. It was frustrating, and I spent a lot of time asking God tough questions. (see part 2 Frustration)

But through all the ups and downs, the Lord has taught me a lot about His faithfulness, and the joy I have in Him.

My hero, Ryan Hall, who helped lead a bible study I was in this summer while I was in California, shared Proverbs 24:16 with us, which really encouraged me.

The verse in Proverbs 24 doesn't shy away from the fact that we will be down, in fact, it implies that at one point in our life we will be down. However, the cool part of the verse tells us that if we are loyal to Christ, we will be up on our feet! Coming from someone who has had a 3 month fracture in my foot, that verse is really encouraging to hear.

I asked God this summer question I didn't think He had an answer for. I asked Him, "God, how come I have this fracture, why would you give this pain to me, to someone who is seeking You?"

Looking back, I asked God the wrong question. I realized a critical mistake in my question… I attributed my pain to something that God had personally given to me, almost like he was purposefully giving me pain. But if we look in the Bible, we see that all good things come from God (James 1).

God didn't give me a stress fracture, but He has allowed me to have it, so that I may be more dependent on Him, rather than put my identity in running, something I do so often.

My pastor from the church I grew up in, Todd Wagner defined the words worry & joy in a clear way:

Worry: "God has it all wrong"
Joy: "Knowing God is good & sovereign"

I spent the majority of this summer, worrying whether or not I would be able to run, I didn't fully trust in God's faithfulness. I thought like in Todd's definition of worry, that God had it all wrong. It took a trip 7000 miles away to Africa to help me realize that I needed to have joy, and trust that the Lord is a God who is constantly faithful to me, a God who is not forgetful of the pains that we go through, but ever present in the hardships of life.

Although I am not back to running, and sometimes frustrated with the slow process of having to cross train, while with my teammates are out & about, I've got something thats worth more than health: Joy, or a trust in God's faithfulness to me each day that I wake up.

 I know that one day when running ends, I'm going to have something more permanent: A relationship with Christ filled with joy!

Frustration

"How long O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God" -Psalms 13:1-3

I had the greatest summer planned, ever. I was going to go to Cameroon, train and share the Gospel with the Africans there, then come back to lead high school runners in their training at the Baylor Cross Country Camp, then head to Mammoth Lakes California- for two weeks of training bliss.

I thought everything was going to be perfect, but there was one problem, the stress fracture in my right foot hadn't gone away.

That wasn't a part of my grand plan, I had figured that the fracture would go away & I would be running by early June. But August is coming up, and I still haven't gotten cleared to run yet. I have been down on my knees asking God & praying for 3 months for healing. But it hasn't happened. It's frustrating. I've been restless for the last 4 weeks, ready to be back.

A good friend put it in this way: I would never say it, but the fracture has definitely been a disappointment in what was going to be one of the greatest running filled summers ever.

Where is God in the middle of all of this?

I like to put myself in the shoes of other men sometimes. Recently, I have been trying to put myself in the shoes of King David, through his frustrations. David had to live in the shadows of his brothers for many years, then was constantly on the run from a ruthless King Saul, even living in caves.

This is why I love the Psalms. They are real- they are deep cuts from David's heart documenting his joys and frustrations with life. In Psalm 13, David asks the Lord if he has forgotten him forever, how long will God forget him.

I think that Psalm 13 shows us that it is ok to be frustrated with God, even Jesus was frustrated and stressed even to the point of sweating blood (Luke 22.) It's good to know that there were men who went before me who also had frustrations with God, for this is where I am at.

I know that the Lord has got a plan for me through this race of life, but sometimes I don't know where this path is going.

A friend texted me this verse the other day that really encouraged me,

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." -Proverbs 16:9

 Yes, life can be frustrating, and its ok to have questions and ask God where He is, but the truth lies in that sometimes we can't understand the situation, but God can.

So regardless of my frustration, I am going to live freely, because I live in the truth of knowing a God who goes before me, and loves me, no matter what shape I am in. God doesn't love me less or more with this fracture, because He loves me unconditionally, all the time!

Today, I am thankful that the God I serve is the God who will fight and run (maybe even walk) with me, every step of the way, even through my frustration!

Kingdom Living

Tomorrow I embark on a journey of a lifetime.

I am headed to Cameroon Africa with Athletes in Action, to train and build relationships with coaches and athletes from their national team. I am beyond PUMPED, excited for a new opportunity in a place that I have never been.

This year, I was praying how I could use running in a way that glorifies the Lord, and makes his Kingdom more known. This opportunity came up through some mutual connections in the running community, and I jumped on board! Extremely humbled and blessed to be a part of a group of athletes that not only care about physical training, but something greater: An eternal purpose, the purpose of making the Gospel of Jesus Christ more known to these runners and coaches we will build into, in Cameroon Africa. Lets goooooo!

As I am headed out, there is something on my heart that I wanted to share before I headed out.

I feel like their are two categories that Christians put their summer plans into-

The first category:

They are going on a big adventure to make Christ's name more known:  somewhere new and exciting, generally out of the country, or working at a summer camp: Trips that have a clear and obvious impact for the Kingdom.

The second category:

Working at home, doing summer school, or a summer job. Something that is generally career focused, or a means to earn money.

I am not saying these are EXACTLY what two categories your summer falls into, but it is a general idea.

Its easy for people like me, who are in the first category to say, "I have a clear purpose and set plan on how to make Christ more known, because I am doing _______"

But the people in the second category, its a little harder…. It's hard to look at a summer spent in the classroom or a job, or a home and say, "Man, I am going to make a huge impact this summer for Christ!"

I am here to tell you, whatever category you fall in, whatever you doing this summer, You CAN have an impact, you can be a light for Christ wherever you are!

John 15:5-8 says,

"I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in Him, he is that who bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me, he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you will bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples."

I don't think its our job to go and try to use ourselves to do something incredible but rather, abide in Christ, because He will do something incredible!

What does it mean to abide in Christ?
-Obedience to Christ (John 15:10)
-Following Jesus' example (1 John 2:6)
-Living free from habitual sin (1 John 3:6)


Its incredible when awesome opportunities come to go on an adventure and share Christ with others. We are sometimes called to that. But my point is, instead of trying to do something with our own strength, we should rely on Christ, wherever we are, because he is the only one who can produce fruit, we cannot, for we are just the branches.

So for all you are in that second category of summers, here is my encouragement to you, when you think that your summer is not as exciting, or mission filled:

-Abide in Christ, and He will produce fruit, rather than us trying to do anything with our own strength!

I believe Christ can do anything, anywhere. He took fisherman, tax collectors, and men who were considered lowly in the eyes of men, and did incredible things.

He took a Shepard boy and defeated a giant with him, using only a stone.

These were the kind of guys who were not off on a huge adventure, or camp, but were just doing their jobs, and following Christ.

Whats holding you back? Lets live for the Kingdom today! Today is the day, no matter where you are!